ALIVE AND KICKING IN MEMPHIS

7% of all Americans think Elvis is still alive.

"Ya freakin' low down lying son-of-a-biach! A jus' heard him on tha radio this mornin'!"

MANOUVRES IN THE DARK

I bet you didn't know that the penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation? Well it is - but who's gonna know..... ?

"I swear I was just shaking the drops off..."

"I have a terrible rash under my foreskin..."

"I'm just checking to see it's working properly..."

"That's not my semen - it's my wifes'!"

"Is that what it's for?"