LAUGHTER - THE BEST MEDICINE

Caroline, wife of George II was dying. As doctors operated on the near dead woman, she suddenly burst out laughing. One of the doctors had leaned too close to a candle and had set his wig on fire. She died moments later. It is not reported as to whether the doctor suffered any injury, but his wig sported a very fine comb-over as a result of it's ordeal...

I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL...

The French playwrigt Moliere died on stage whilst playing a hypochondriac in his own play Le Malade Imaginaire - The Hypochondriac.

He had been feeling quite unwell that day but his complaints fell on deaf ears as his fellow actors believed he was rehearsing for the play. It is reported that his last words were, "I told you I was ill you bunch of rotten bastards."

SNAKES ON A PLANE

A 30 year old Columbian male was caught trying to sneak through airport customs in Paris with a boa constrictor hidden in his pants.
Airport officials issued an apology to a well built man later on the same day after discovering that he did not have a boa constrictor hidden in his pants.

ANAL RETENTION

Antonia Mendoza, a Los Angeles attorney, spent over three hours in hospital having his mobile phone removed from his rectum. During the operation, it rang three times. After recovering from his ordeal in the Trauma Centre, Mendoza explained: "The dog carries my phone all over the house. He must have taken it into the shower and I slipped on a tile, fell against the dog and sat right down on the on the damn thing..."

Doctors also removed one electric toothbrush, one cappuccino frother, two root vegetables, and a vibrating chinese stress-ball from the same orifice. Mendoza had no explanation as to how these items came to be lodged inside his anus, and refused to discuss the matter further.

LIAR LIAR

Paramedics in Kennett, Missouri, rescued a man who had managed to get his penis stuck in the plug hole of his washbasin. It appears he had been trying to change a light bulb above the sink, when he slipped and fell, lodging his member in the plug-hole. The blow left his penis so bruised and swollen, that he was unable to extract it. A neighbour eventually heard his screams and called the police, who smashed down his bathroom door despite the man's protestations that he did not want to be rescued.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

FINGER LICKIN' FRIKKIN' CHICKEN

Six people died in Southern Egypt in 1997 whilst attempting to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a 60ft well. An 18 year old farmer was first to go in after the chicken, but drowned in the strong undercurrents. His sister and two brothers, neither of whom could swim, went in one after the other to help him but also drowned. Finally two elderly farmers went to help out but met with a similar fate. After the six bodies were pulled from the well - the chicken flew out unharmed. The owner, overjoyed at seeing his chicken alive, promptly wrang it's neck and cooked it for dinner.

"ANYONE FOR TENNIS?"

Whilst Anne Boleyn was being beheaded, Henry VIII went off to play tennis. It is reported that Annes last words before the axe fell were, "If he thinks I'm bothered he can go fuck himself."